LI: To use the 5 senses and personification to help us paint a picture with words.
He took me out and put his smelly toes in “YUCK!”. He stepped on me like I didn't even exist “how rude”. I felt the cold liquid come in and out of where his toes were, “I can’t take this anymore I’m too old!”. I was soaked and after I’ve been protecting your ungrateful feet, this is how you repay me I thought quietly in my head. What the! Now your running kill me now, I need to retire and I need to now. Up ahead I see a thick, brown colored blob, oh you've got to be kidding me! “NO NO NO NO NOOO not POO go around go AROUND! Ooh man gotta be kidding me! Wash me wash me NO” Now I smell like poo it’s all in my mouth, on my hands and on my head man I’m ready to be lift on the corner and stay there thanks! Okay I can't see anymore not terrifying at all, Suddenly I feel a bang against the tip of my head OWWW a solid objects bounces off me I can't see a thing. I can feel my arms being untied uh finally get your smelly toes out of me right now! I sigh with relief I'm aching all over just leave me here now don't come back please!
1 comments:
Your vivid description of events through the eyes of your shoes paints a very clear picture in my mind. I can feel their pain throughout their journey! Well written girls. Please check that you have used the correct punctuation. I can see a few changes you need to make.
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